“No, don’t change your profile name to that. You’re not really a homesteader” the liar whispered in my ear as my finger hovered over the “edit” button on Instagram. I was just getting ready to change my profile name to either “Baer Cattle Homestead” or “Meg’s Gone Country.” Insecurity invaded like an unwelcome guest on the peace of my morning.
Satan really likes to just dive in right away and place doubt and negativity in our minds, doesn’t he? I’m proud to say that I prayed up, am suiting up in my armor of God, and gathering courage to just say and be who Christ made me to be.
That takes courage. Am I the only one who thinks so? We all walk around with an idea of who we are and what makes up the content of our character. Physical characteristics may come into mind. How we were raised. Our careers. Gifts. Passions. These all come into play into the complex idea of self.
For a long time now, I felt insecure of my identity. I felt like a pretender. I’m a girl who grew up close to cities in a very “suburbia” vibe town to the wife of a cattleman who literally built our house from the ground up “Little House on the Prairie”style. No, it’s not a log cabin, but we did build it with our own two hands. I’m a homemaker who is trying with all her heart to be chic about it, but literally has to walk through poo some days, comes home and is literally too tired to lift her hand to another thing. Meanwhile, her floor looks like a dust storm said to itself “this looks like a good place to land!” I’m a Mom who rocks parenting somedays, and others, true story, gives her kids toast for supper. I’m a musician who used to work as a private piano teacher and a worship director and now teaches her own children what she knows. I’m a homeschooling mom, but have only been doing it for two years. I’m in ministry, but I didn’t go to seminary. I’m a writer and blogger, and a podcaster, but what do I really know? I’m a lady, but what if people think I look too dressed up when I walk into the grocery store in my day dress?
Did you hear the doubt creeping in on that last paragraph? Blech!! Seriously, it’s like a horrible pity party. Why do we let Satan turn us into insecure piles of goo? Did Jesus fashion us in our mother’s wombs with the idea of “well, you’ll sorta be this” and “pretend to be this” or “I’ll only give you this gift halfway?” NO!!! Listen to these verses that Jesus says about us and our identity!
Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..”
Psalm 139:14
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
1 Corinthians 12:7
“A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.”
Jesus GLORIES in how He designed me. He GLORIES in how He created YOU. Girl, it’s time to step up and WORSHIP HIM with all that is unique about YOU. It is why you were made. We were made to love God, and serve Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. We do that by using what He has gifted us with. So here I am declaring who Christ made me to be.
I am HIS daughter. I am a Child of the King of Kings. I am the wife of Jesse. I am the mother of three amazingly beautiful children, and I have one in heaven waiting for me! I am a musician who will sing and play my heart out to the lover of my soul. I am a homesteader who puts her sweat and hand to the land He has blessed me with to feed my family and bless others. I am a cattlewoman who feeds those cows because they depend on me. I am a homemaker who delights in making my home a refuge for my family and for others. Get in here, and I will feed you something good. I am a curly headed queen and I’m going to make that mane as big as I can because it makes me unique. I am a lover of dressing well and modestly. I am a podcaster and blogger that loves to declare to all that Jesus Christ is Lord!
I’ll leave you with some beloved lyrics from The Greatest Showman’s song “This Is Me” that inspire me. We can definitely take these words and sing them in Satan’s face. I’m marching to the drum of Christ, and He will send His flood of protection when my mind gets bombarded.
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
Gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ‘cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Own who you are today, ladies. Worship Him with all He has created you to be. When we rest secure in who we are in Christ, and not shy away from how uniquely He made you, we find joy, security, and victory.
Much love,
Meg
